lunas-wonderland

i genuinely dont know who i am. i used to do this thing were i would reinvent myself for no specefic purpose every year or six months or so. In fifth grade i went from being this extreme tomboy to a wannabe hippie to crazy girly girl to a failed scene/emo kid to i dont even know to a walmart hipster to another confused state to a legitimet hipster back to this hippie thing which has landed me where i am today: horribly confused. Yet, happy. This is the first time in my life that my inner leo shines through and i am really really happy with who i am. Sure, i'd be extatic to loose a few pounds and maybe have clear skin and less the teeth of an old british man, but hell, ive still never been this happy with myself. I adore my individuality, my 00 stretched ears, my itty bitty gold nose ring, my conch ring, running barefoot through summer and heels and boots through winter, my hair is one of my favorites with its (finally) long wildness, ive even made the bottom layers white for edgyness. Sometimes i look like the 60s married the 90s and coughed up an artsy lesbian, but theres no one else like me. and i find that amazing. I guess at the end of this run-on paragraph with no specefic point, life isnt about finding yourself its about creating yourself. And in saying that i've done a damn good job

i've been quite absent here. And i am sorry. I have more or less moved to various other parts of the internet, but i am now making an attempt to re-update the old DeviantArt page. I've improved greatly artistic-wise since i've posted on here and i'd really like to show my lovely watchers, but alas my dinosaur of a computer doesnt much like that idea. I do promise to keep trying. It also needs a major makeover, most of this stuff hasnt been edited since i was fourteen and i swear, i am incredibly more attractive and less awkward now.
In other updates, i pierced my nose, my hair finally grew out, i lost some weight (for better or worse..), have become hopelessly manic depressive at times, but its all part of life haha. Maybe that helps with the artist in me.
Well as i dive deeper and deeper into hopeless insanity i'll try to check in on occasion
if you'd like links to my other pages, please inquire.
if you are a tumblr user, be sure to check out #willows art

It seems like you always hear that all these famous artists, from Dali to Monet, where utterly insane or where heavy drug users. The media has built a stereotype around these "different thinkers" and expressionists who create beautiful visuals for the whole world to see, to be completely bat shit crazy. And of course, thanks to 60s propaganda, many popular drugs where said drive the innocent mind insane. Drugs discredited these genius artists. But maybe that's just it: drugs and insanity are, in this situation, used to discredit the geniuses.
Maybe because as an artist, you see the world from a skewed prospective. You look deeper into people, places, things, your own thoughts and feelings. Maybe because you are different, that's enough to consider you insane. Sure, Van Goh cut his own ear off and eventually shot himself in the chest. So I'm not saying its totally incorrect. Maybe to convey the deepest feelings into a physical visual piece you have to be a little unstable or "insane".
Why these artists get into drugs vary on the artist themselves. Just like any other group of people an substance abuse. Maybe they've hit a dead end, their mind won't let them think any farther, so they dabble into peyote, mescaline, LSD, mushrooms, dmt, and other "mind openers". Because for some reason, the chemicals already in their brains wont let them go farther into there own thoughts, a mental dead end. Maybe the pain of being a "feeler" gets to much. Being so sensitive to the world around them that portraying those feelings as beautiful works of art isn't enough to vent them and they fall into the "numbing" drugs, eventually leading I addiction and more often then not, the end of a genius.
In the end, this doesn't apply to everyone. Some artists are completely clean and sober they're entire lives, and some are so function able in society you'd never know that they're minds are racing with colors patterns and feelings. But I hope maybe this Ill-worded shpeal from a sarcastic half sane sixteen year old made you think

"art is why I get up in the morning
but my definition ends there
and it doesn't seem fair
that I'm living for something I can't even define
there you are right there
in the meantime

I don't want to play for you anymore
show me what you can do
tell me what are you here for
I want my old friends
I want my old face
I want my old mind
fuck this time and place"
~Ani DiFranco, out of habit

www.youtube.com/watch?v=adPOiK…

hey! i'm sorry it's been so long. i have been keeping up with a ton of artwork, but not so much i can post on here (my internet blows). So keep checking i promise more will be up soon
ALSO: i will be selling art at the berkley art bash in june, so pretty please come by and support me!

well for an update, shit's been weird. Some super amazing memories i'll never forget, some rough times, over all life is good. I've got an amazing boyfirend of 14 months a great best friend and some really good friends and some more-or-less party buddies. But i do feel like i've grown apart from some of the people who where so amazing to me. I really want them back in my life but i'm far too shy to try and talk again. The past year has just been....wild. ive lost myself, found myself, made some friends and met new people, lost some dear friends, had 0g ears, red hair, blue hair, dreads, gained weight, trying to lose it, ran barefoot two miles at 2am, made some hilarious inside jokes with three drunk guys and one on acid, watched the sunset with the boy i love, and cried because i'm really glad i'm still alive, despite the times i really didn't want to be.

but l-i-f-e-g-o-e-s-o-n, got more than money and sense my friend, you've got heart, and you go in your own way

i sure hope someone see's this...